Knowing what you want in life is essential. So how do you go and get what you want? How do you ask for something important and achieve what you desire?

For some, this process comes naturally. If you find it difficult to ask for what you want, here are some helpful suggestions:

Stop being afraid

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want! The time and energy that you waste on worrying will have a negative impact on your physical and mental health. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Too often the fear of rejection is enough to squash the idea of asking for what you want.

Organise your thoughts

Set a clear time frame for organising your thoughts and feelings. Don’t allow yourself too long. Sit and write out what you want. What are you asking for? Why are you asking? Taking the time to have your thought process mapped out is vital. If you’re not clear about what you are asking, you cannot expect the person you are asking to understand.

Sell yourself

Being confident in the moment is hard. Nerves and self-doubt can overwhelm you and the experience can be one you never want to go through again. Bringing emotion into the situation will undoubtedly lead to failure. Emotion clouds what you are trying to say. The other person will focus on the emotion and not the information being presented.

Minimise this by taking your points and your mapped thought process and turn them into a clear and precise argument. Take this argument to a family member or friend and practice on them. A mirror can also be a great way to practice if you don’t want to share. The objective is to get it clear in your mind, minimising emotion. Have everything in your head ready to recall when needed.

Asking from a place of passion

People respond positively to requests that come from a place of honesty, passion, kindness and asked politely. Be respectful of the person you are asking. Come into the situation excited and comfortable. This will allow the person or people you are asking to be at ease and open to your request.

Why getting a no is a positive

So all the planning, practice and positivity you have invested might not lead to you getting the yes you are after. You might be hit with some resistance. The person might need some time to think about it or discuss with another party. But you might also just get a straight up NO.

Take that moment to show your gratitude for the opportunity. Be polite, say thank you. Showing gratitude leaves the door open for future conversations, it shows maturity. Seeing a no as a not just yet, also allows you to reflect on how you can improve your approach. It can also show you that you might need to change what you’re asking, who you’re asking or take you on another journey altogether.

Don’t allow time to pass. Go after what you desire. Take opportunities and risks. Tackle them with a strategy in place. Every moment is a moment to grow and learn, go for what you want. Believe in yourself and make the most of it!

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